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Rants Of A Lazy Mexican

02 2008

Nah you were right to give it all back

Two weeks ago I found a wallet and an Iphone in one of the benches at my gym. The wallet contained roughly 500 euros and around $240 the Iphone was brand, spanking new. I picked them up and tried to look for the owner but I couldnt find him in the locker rooms. I dont know why but I didnt feel any desire to keep the stuff, under normal circumstances, I probably would just have kept both the money and the Iphone (only because it was 8 gigs and I could use it as an ipod, I dont care about the phone really) and mail the wallet and credit cards to the owner. Since I couldnt find the owner I just dialed the last number he had called and I waited for that person to pick up so that I could tell him/her that she should contact his/her friend and have him call me if he wanted to get his stuff back. Some guy speaking what sounded like some middle eastern language answered the phone, apparently I was calling afghanistan or something, and of course I couldnt figure out what the hell he was saying. So I proceed to call the last local number he had called, as the other phone starts to ring I see a guy reaching for his phone. He answers the phone and I am like “hey, look to your right, I found this phone, do you know where the owner might be hiding?” He looks at me and starts yelling “abdullah someone found your phone”. I gave the guy his Iphone and his wallet. He was surprised that all the money was still in it. I walked away as he was trying to thank me for the 100th time.
Last week, I found a purse at work. Aside from this woman’s entire life the purse also contained a shit load of credit cards, epi pens, vicodin, oxycodone, lunesta, roughly $250 and a few more prescription meds that I didnt really recognize. I called her and she came back to retrieve her stuff roughly two hours later because she had gone home and had not realized she had lost her purse. She tried to give me some money but I wouldnt take it. I did however make a joke (not really, I was really hoping she would give them to me) about how if she were really trying to thank me I’d take a few lunestas instead of money….she didnt laugh, I didnt care.
Yesterday I found a blackberry. Once again, under normal circumstances, I would’ve kept the phone just to play around with it because of its palm capabilities, but I didnt. I phoned his office and left a message for him to call me if he wanted his shit back. He phoned me, I gave him his phone, he thanked me, I asked for a diet coke as a reward, he laughed, I walked away.
There is something really wrong with me!!! I should’ve kept all this stuff.

-17 still 20 more to go. Thank you, drive thru.


6 Responses to “Nah you were right to give it all back”

  1. Karma dude, don’t mess with it’s mojo.

  2. yeaaahhh I think Karma is either completed indifferent or simply decides to ignore me. Where was Karma when I lost my wallet a couple of days ago? While I lost a pretty good chunk of money, I am really only concerned with the wallet itself. It was the last thing my grandmother gave me.

  3. Lunestas? They’re crap. Go for Ambien. I love it. I’d like to try Rozeram too. Dreams with Abe & Groundhogs. Dude, that would so rule.

  4. so what you are saying is that you aren’t a scummy wetback and you have morals?

  5. Not really. I was simply reflecting on those things that I’ve done in the past few weeks that “normal” people wouldnt do. I could give a shit about moral standards, there isnt a single one moral/ethical view or standard in which I could neatly fit into… my father would be proud though.

  6. balance must be restored! in response to all this do-goodery i’m gonna have to jack some ytz shit

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