27
01
2008
Do any of you have a manual 35mm camera that you would be kind enough to let me borrow, rent for a few weeks? I have a nice digital but I dont care much for instant gratification and quite honestly I liked my old manual 35mm more. Bonus if the camera that you are willing to let me borrow/rent is able to take pictures with xray film.
PS: Must learn to set postings as private. Cheers.
25
01
2008
I came home tonight, just like I do any other day, and although I was aware that my sister took biggie (dog I look after during the week) for the night, and possibly the weekend, it suddenly hit me… I came home to an empty house. It never ceases to amaze just how much the presence of a little critter, be it a gerbil or a guinea pig, a cat, a lizard, or a dog can impact anyone’s mood. The absence of that little guy wagging his tail, excited that I came home, excited that I will take him out for a walk, excited that I will play around with him, excited that I had treats for him…suddenly left me with a nagging feeling of loneliness. Nevermind that I was glad to be home after a long day of school and work, forget the fact that I had a bunch of books at my disposal, nevermind that I was finally able to take a long shower, nevermind that I was able to sit down for a minute and finally rest… it just didn’t feel right.
How long do you go on on pretending? how long before it hits you that the most mundane, insignificant, pedestrian, prosaic conversations, text messages, phone calls, emails, etc that you have with those few people that you’ve chosen to care for have become a bigger part of your life than you’d really like to admit? I suppose that when you suddenly lose that you start to give it a new meaning…those same things ceased to be banal and take on a brand new life-giving force from what otherwise would be your daily purgatory.
How long before you start to pray for a water landing as you come back from a business trip, or a vacation? How long before you hope for a horrible crash as you drive down the freeway? how long before you realize that the solo activities you enjoyed are no longer enjoyable? how long before that bottle of narcotics, sitting on your desk, starts to look appealing because the promise of a, long overdue and much needed, good night sleep is more appealing than the prospect of getting in a cold, empty bed? How long before you reach for the bottle of vodka and just drink yourself to sleep?
This place is a fucking mess I ought to clean it.
31
12
2007
Snowboarding:2 v. Me:0
I really need to find my impact shorts!!!
19
10
2007
Dear life please stop fucking sucking!!!! I just spent the last three hours at the gym. I am not even tired. If I can only manage to get some madafaking sleep then perhaps wouldnt suck as much.
21
09
2007
I just finished my third martini of the night. I am ready for another one, yet I dont even feel like making another batch of them. I want to smoke a cigaretten but I dont feel like going outside, I dont smoke indoors cuz it makes my place smell like poo. Damn it, I wish I had some lunesta!! then I could sleep.
21
09
2007
So I walked pass my bed and I casually look at one of my pillows and what do I see? A spider about the size of a quarter, maybe a little bigger. My first reaction was to go get something from the beeping microwave but then I was afraid that if I did that I might lose track of the spiders, I didnt want to come back and crush it. I picked up a plastic cup and an envelope and pushed the spider into the cup. I put the spider outside. The spider looked like it had stripes, kinda like a tiger, but then again I was more concern about the soup I left in the microwave.
18
09
2007
So apparently I am an uncle now. My little brother’s kid was delivered earlier this morning via c section. The kid was trying to come out feet first. I told my brother that his kid is such a fucking wetback that the only reason his kid was coming out feet first was so that as soon as he was out of the womb he could make a run for the border!!!. His name is Marley and for now he is in an incubator because he was a bit premature and he was having a bit of difficulty breathing. Everything else checked out fine though.
14
09
2007
Christ! my teacher for my adj 424 class is such a bitch. I am not sure that not making friends with her will serve me well in class. Today I just couldnt fucking contain myself and as I said out loud “Damn that was rude!!” when she chastise a student in class I just kept thinking “dont do it stoooopid, dont doooooo it!!!” I just had to do it. Cheers.
28
08
2007
Third class for the week done and I havent gotten sick of school already, this has to be some kinda record 🙂 I am gonna go outside and read a book on child development cuz its nice out… or at least it was earlier today. Two more class to go for the day…. I wonder if there is a blood drive going on somewhere in school cuz I can use some free cookies and diet coke.